Jun
28

Consider the possibility of being courageous enough to freely embrace letting go, then having access to loving each moment.

On Friday, June 26, 2009, we bid our Earthly farewell to our best Canine friend, roommate, guard dog, teacher, playmate and loving soul, Allie. Actually she was Taber’s dog and TedDi’s mother but we all loved her so. She was unique in many ways but she taught us much about love and life and letting go.

I have noticed that the healthy Elders around me, the human kind ones, seem to be adept at letting go. When we try to hold too tight to something we can suffocate it. They say Allie had cancer but I guess we’ll never know for sure. She seemed to suffer from separation anxiety since she was a small puppy. This time her suffering was preventing her from eating, running and breathing with ease.

I know the decision to ease her suffering and help her let go was tormentuous. As I have been actively practicing feeling my way, using my feelings as my internal guidance system, this one put my trust to the test. Initially it didn’t feel right, and then something changed. I was trying to read what she was communicating and allow that to flow through me. Being able to distinguish between inspiration and obligation is beginning to become easier for me. I know I have to begin with “I don’t know.” When I am completely blank and unattached to any outcome the inspiration has a place to enter.

When I let go and empty myself of expectation, then I am open to inspiration. The feeling of relief accompanies inspiration and is not available when a decision is made out of obligation. It’s not the lack of pain. I think I may have been expecting that? Allowing the pain to sweep through us gives it a door to escape.

I see TedDi playing in delight when there is reason to. Then he takes moments to just lay on his mothers pillow with his eyes wide open and allow the grief to pass through him. I can almost see the pain of her loss sweeping over him like a wave in the ocean. He doesn’t resist it or deny it. He just allows it. When I go to him and stroke his fur he just allows that. He doesn’t acknowledge it or resist it. Nature seems to be helping heal his heart.

I, with all my human thoughts, trying to reason away the pain, get caught up in second-guessing myself and justifying why it had to be done. I think I will learn to imitate my TedDi dog and simply allow all of life, the joy the sorrow, the pain and the promise to flow through me naturally and keep my editorial thoughts out of it!

I remember all my life no matter what you gave my father, R.C., for a gift; it was always, “Just what I wanted!” I have learned from my Canine friends, Allie and TedDi, to approach each moment with that sense of allowing. As I am practicing mastery of letting go of each prior moment and being open to each present moment for whatever it has to offer ~ and embracing the Perfect Present as “Just what I wanted” I am beginning to experience a fulfilled quality of life that I notice in my Elders.

Thank you Allie, and all those that have gone before us, for all your blessings! We are grateful!

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